June 16th, 2005

Current Music: Buck 65 - Wicked and Weird Subject: Aesop Time: 11:38 am Current Mood: annoyed

Once upon a time a Wolf was lapping at a spring on a hillside, when, looking up, what should he see but a Lamb just beginning to drink a little lower down. "There's my supper," thought he, "if only I can find some excuse to seize it." Then he called out to the Lamb, "How dare you muddle the water from which I am drinking?" "Nay, master, nay," said Lambikin; "if the water be muddy up there, I cannot be the cause of it, for it runs down from you to me." "Well, then," said the Wolf, "why did you call me bad names this time last year?" "That cannot be," said the Lamb; "I am only six months old." "I don't care," snarled the Wolf; "if it was not you it was your father;" and with that he rushed upon the poor little Lamb and .WARRA WARRA WARRA WARRA WARRA .ate her all up. But before she died she gasped out ."Any excuse will serve a tyrant."

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May 8th, 2005

Current Music: Fleetwood Mac Subject: God or faith? Time: 01:37 pm Current Mood: contemplative

Faith 1.Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing. 2.Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief. See Synonyms at trust. 3.Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters. 4.Often Faith Christianity. The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will. 5.The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith. 6.A set of principles or beliefs. Faith as seen above is a defined word. It is just a word, but more than that what is faith? How does the human mind find faith? Maybe it is a chemical reaction in the brain. Is it a simple release of chemicals in our brain that eases our minds or is there something more to it that we cannot see or feel? Can there really be a "higher power"? In almost all faiths there is a higher place after you die. There is this higher power to guide your way and a place that you transcend to after death. Ancient Egyptians built pyramids for this reason; Christians, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Hindus pray for this reason. Can it be coincident they all have this higher power, these higher gods or is it simply that the human race needs something to explain the world around them. Something they can settle their minds on, something that no matter what will be this constant in their lives. If this is so, then arent scientists the same as priest? Isnt the periodic table a chapter in the bible? We as humans for the past several hundred years have based our worlds on this premise of science and the repetitions of reality that go with it. We base our lives around this idea of science and accept the fact that it will be redefined continually just like the evolution of God or Allah. The world has been defined and redefined so many times how do we know what is real and not? If humans hold their faith as reality then isnt the concept of reality having faith in the world around us. So if reality is based on the concept of faith and faith is ever evolving in the church or science catalogue then cant reality can be defined in finite terms only to be redefined. The Catholic Church has done it or has inspired the need for it. The protestant reformation saw years of "holy wars" (an interesting irony...no?) due to this process of redefining a church. Darwin feared his results would not be accepted and so waited till his death to publish his findings only to have them misinterpreted by early 20th century governments, setting in place the tools for a global evolution. So this still leaves us with the question of what is faith. If it can be defined then it can of course be redefined. However if it can be redefined then is it faith? So a thought that wondered into my head when reading the definition still remains. Faith in the simplest terms is blind control. We follow what we cant fully understand, what is defined by our faith and fear what isnt defined by our faith. Even science is a faith based concept. Most of the world believes that there are atoms and I am not saying there isnt, but you cant see an atom, you cant see DNA, and so who is to say it exists? We are basing our conceptions on an idea that as the general public cannot fully understand. At the end of it all faith comes to simple obedience of what we cant understand. Faith is control of the unseen and uncontrollable through abstract concepts such as God or science. And as humans, who as far as I can tell need this grounding experience, choose to understand the world through the spectrum of whatever faith we hold as truth, as reality.

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Current Music: Rage Against the Mother Fucking Machine Subject: Cop watch Time: 02:33 am Current Mood: awake

Well I went on my first cop watch ever. It was an interesting sight to see riot cops rolling up and down the streets. I dont think they liked us much. Shining lights in our eyes, threatening with arrest and shit and not to mention the overall attempt at intimidation. It was ridiculous. This campus has some crazy shit happen. All in all in was a successful night. I am mos def going to do cop watch in oregon. Fucking pigs, eat a dick. fight the power fight the man fight conformity fight the system bring the motherfuckers down Peace yall, stay safe P.S. Four years of vegan bliss was ended with one buffalo wing. Couldnt believe it.

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May 7th, 2005

Current Music: Radiohead Subject: Late Night Time: 06:42 am Current Mood: exhausted

four in the morning barely tired living this blurred refection five in the morning still up addicted to my own thoughts six in the morning heavy eyes fighting with sleeps siren call seven in the morning eyes close as the sounds disappear eight in the morning slipping into my own imagination but wheres the sound? wheres the sound? wheres the sound?

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May 6th, 2005

Current Music: Something "deep" Subject: Troubles Time: 03:39 am Current Mood: listless

Thoughts over troubles troubles over thoughts one or the other two doses then another till my mind is numb

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May 5th, 2005

Current Music: Ben Harper - Oppression Subject: May 4th Time: 12:59 am Current Mood: cynical

May 4th 1970. In only 13 seconds of rifle fire by a contingent of 28 Ohio National Guardsmen left four students dead, one permanently paralyzed, and eight others wounded. Our "peaceful" "free" country had killed its own, but why? Why are lives needed for there to be change? Why does destruction insight evolution, revolution? These questions have been lingering in my head for a couple days now and yet I know none of these. I do not know destruction, I do not know death. I have never had to face these realities in person. I have never had to step into the ring with the reaper. What does this mean? I watch america slip into this complacent dream. This dream manifesting itself in the citizens of this nation that everything is ok. It seems that this dream has clouded our eyes and we cant see the reality of life for many of the people on this earth. We do not face famine, drought, or any assortment of evils that befall the people of this earth everyday. Are we missing something sitting in our high chairs watching the world suffer? Are we betraying our own human nature by standing aside as millions suffer at the expense of cheaper shoes? We live in a fake reality of sitcoms and 6 oclock news casts. Just living out our days in complete separation from the world. When will we change? When will we learn?

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May 2nd, 2005

Current Music: Ceschi Subject: Its a thought Time: 12:37 am Current Mood: frustrated

Sometimes I wonder what if? Ya know those questions you have about moments in your life that could have or you wished had gone differently. About those little things or big things that never came together. Over this year I have reflected on those moments many times, especially as of late as I am preparing myself to head back into my Oregon life and I wonder what do they mean? I have all these memories, preconceptions and thoughts that linger there. How do they control me here in the present and me in the future? I realize that this does little to no good because what is done is done and the past is forever, its the decisions that I make now that matter. Still I find it hard to escape these thoughts. I find it hard to escape those moments. So in these days I feel as if I am at an impasse, at a proverbial fork in the road and I am caught between my past and my future. Ocean current transformations over red sun sets as birds become angels

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May 1st, 2005

Current Music: Bright Eyes - Something Vague Subject: Beginning Time: 04:24 am Current Mood: wondering

Its a question of the water or angels and which is holds the truth of perfection?

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April 29th, 2005

Subject: Late or early? Never really sure... Time: 07:33 am Current Mood: bored

As you can see by when I posted this I am in sleep deprivation euphoria and have little to no physical capacity to do anything at the moment but type. Anyways Its really late and I have like 2 and half more hours till class. Then like 2 hrs of class that I have to survive. think I can do it? Well it will be a fun experiment none the less. Maybe I will go to studio here soon and do some more constructing of things. Wow I am rambling here. Must be the Sleep deprivation =D. Anyways I am going to watch TV. or find something to keep my mind going here. Later all.

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April 26th, 2005

Current Music: The Streets Subject: Dont Worry Kids... Time: 12:08 am Current Mood: anxious

Don’t worry kids, we’ll tell you why to live I unfold salt news induced heart attack dreams, divided into five easy read sections trying to tell, me, why to live Don’t worry kids we’ll tell you how to think The crisp 75 cent lies push sad story headlines and wag the dog commentary, trying to tell, me, how to think Don’t worry kids, we’ll tell you who to fight I Translate soothsayer subtleties as black ink deceit crude oil articles bleeds from papers edge trying to tell, me, who to fight Don’t worry kids, we’ll tell you what to buy Multicolored full page ads sell trend pusher fads to the hypnotized Abercrombie youth trying to tell, me, what to buy

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April 24th, 2005

Current Music: Dave - Some Devil CD Subject: Seriouslt Though Time: 04:30 am Current Mood: Jaded

So I was going to write something "deep" and "meaningful" but what the fuck is the point?

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April 22nd, 2005

Current Music: Ben Harper Subject: Its a question of thought Time: 03:43 am Current Mood: tired

Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question of thought Its a question...

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April 19th, 2005

Current Music: Bright Eyes Subject: Its lost on this. Time: 01:19 am Current Mood: blank

Whats the difference of this? I have found the differnece doesnt lay in my hands or theirs. Only in the mind of a child.

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April 18th, 2005

Current Music: DJ Shadow Subject: Rewind Time: 02:31 pm Current Mood: tired

To this rewind moment I have found that there are differences between truth and reality. Are we predestined or lead by our ambitions? Not sure of this that or the other I have found myself lost in this illusion of fate. Taking each soft step with inprecision so as to break the salt water glass under my feet. Yeah, or something like that.

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Subject: Something more than we can see Time: 01:01 am

You tell me if there is something I am not seeing.

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April 14th, 2005

Current Music: Dispatch - Prince of Spades Subject: Truthfully Time: 10:15 am Current Mood: cynical

This is the second time I have written as near the end of my "rant" I was cut off by the power. Anyways with that out of the way I have been feeling like I’m out of touch. As if I don’t know what is true and not. Then again I never claimed to know what truth is in the first place so maybe my thoughts on what it is are false. What is truth? Can we define it by personality? I would have to lean towards no. If you think about yourself at any given moment you will most likely be thinking, feeling or doing something that leaves the last moment in time false to your new reality. What about what we THINK we know. Again no. What we think we know is near to nothing in comparison to what we don’t know and even those things we don’t know that we don’t know. So what we can see, touch, taste, smell, and hear are only what we ourselves think them to be. For example a man born blind, until told that there is a world of sight is under the truth that the world is a void. The world is this strange dark place. Another example; a child who is in theory a blank slate draws a summer day on the wall with a crayon. He doesn’t know this is wrong. To him the truth he holds is that this is neither right nor wrong. Since right and wrong are truths placed upon us by others. So in conclusion truth is what others place on us. So if truth is what others place on us. In other words our culture, then truth has surely been defined within the constraints of culture. Not so. Truth is merely a lie that has yet been discovered to be false. The world WAS flat; the world WAS the center of the universe. So if truth is a lie then what does that say about reality we hold as truth. This is the enigma of truth. Holding what we think we know as reality, as truth, and then we are in principle holding lies as reality. So if reality is a series of undiscovered lies then does it even exist? If you can define and redefine the world around you it is merely an illusion of the mind. Illusions create your reality, your reality creates lies and these lies hold the opposite or truth. Therefore truth is an illusion of the human mind. However if it is a creation of the mind and truth is an illusion are we an illusion ourselves?

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April 7th, 2005

Subject: Fuckin Sweet Time: 07:04 pm

Yo, so ultratron was all talking shit the other day so I had to put him in his mother fuckin place. You woldnt beleive what he was sayin. He was all like, "Damn man my lazer gun is way better than yours". I was like, "FUCK YOU", and I shot his ass right in his stank ass mother board processor thing. Fucked him up right. All I got to say is he wont be transformin anytime soon. WORD!!!

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Current Music: Atmosphere Subject: Transformers Time: 04:59 pm Current Mood: bored

I wish I was a transformer. I would bikeatron. Whenever I wanted I could transform into a rocket popelled mountian bike (fully loaded of course) with a jet engine, rockets, lazers and shit. That would be sweet. Then when I transformed back I would look like me but with sweet rockets and a jet pack. Wouldnt that be tight. I know it would be. you dont have to tell me twice.

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